That means that someone is coming to town. No, not Santa Claus. (OK, for those of you who are still holding out hope, in addition to Santa Claus.) Tourists. We in Manhattan are also officially entering the holiday tourist season. I was thinking, if I were in charge of the Office of Tourism in NY, I would ensure that a mail drop of tourist tips and helpful hints went out to every hotel room and youth hostel in the city. My letter would look a little something like this:
Dear Holiday Tourist:
Season's Greetings! Welcome to New York City during what is truly one of the most wonderful times of the year. In an effort to help make your time in our beautiful city more pleasant for everyone, here are some helpful hints for a pleasant stay:
Getting Around
There are many exciting sights to see in New York City, no more so than during the holidays. When you are walking down Fifth Avenue or through Times Square, keep in mind that not everyone around you is ambling along to see those sights. Some locals are trying to get to work or fight the crowds to do their holiday shopping. Please do not suddenly stop in the middle of the sidewalk or walk at a snail's pace while trying to read your Fodor's Guide. Walk on the right with the pace of the crowd, and step to the side when you need to stop. Otherwise, wear football padding and earplugs because people will run into you and yell wishes in your direction that are not so holly-jolly in nature! Ho, ho, ho!
The subway is one of the easiest ways to get around. When riding the subway, think back to your high school science class. Remember inertia? Bodies in motion stay in motion; bodies at rest stay at rest? That means that if you are standing, you should hold on to something. For most locals, it is not their most treasured holiday wish to have a tourist with all of his/her shopping bags fly into their laps! Keep in mind, though, that while you need to hold on, you do not need to hold on for dear life. This is not a roller coaster, and flailing around as if it is surely is not necessary.
Picture Taking
You, of course, will want to document your exciting trip with photos. Asking a local to take a photo of you and your friends and family is acceptable. Please just do not do it in a place where you will be blocking everyone else. (See "Walking" above for additional information.)
It is, of course, tempting to try to capture the spectacular buildings and fabulous lights in photos. In order to do that, buy post cards. Keep in mind: the buildings are always tall, the lights are always bright and none of it photographs well. Standing in the middle of Time's Square with your digital camera taking a picture looking straight up into the air is not going to give you a great shot. Post cards. Sometimes for as little as 10 for $1.50. Really. Just do it.
Personal Safety and Security
Yes, unfortunately, there is crime in NY. In most cases, if you use basic caution and keep your purse zipped and with you at all times or your wallet secure in your front pocket, you will be fine. Walking around clutching your shopping bags to you as if you think that you will be attacked and robbed at any given moment is not necessary. No one wants the 12 "I Love NY" tee-shirts that you bought for $10. However, if you hang your open purse on the back of your chair in a busy coffee shop, don't be surprised if some Grinch takes your wallet as if it was a gift in a stocking!
Again, for the most part, if you stay in the most populous, well-lit parts of the city during reasonable hours, you will not have issues. Sitting on the subway with a look of abject terror as if everyone around you is a possible murderer doesn't really exude holiday spirit, now does it? (If, however, you and your companions choose to sit dispersed throughout the subway car and yell to each other about how much you want to go to TKTS to get Chicago tickets, you will make your fellow passengers want to bludgeon your with your Macy's bags. Fair warning.)
Christmas Windows
The Christmas windows at retailers throughout the city are one of the top attractions for tourists and locals alike. Please do not use your child as a "Get to the Front of the Line First" pass. Just because someone with you is under four feet tall or not of driving age does not mean that you get to go first, can push through the crowd to be directly in front of the window or linger in front of the display with your child who is not paying attention until little Jimmy or Sally finally perks up. [As a note: this rule applies to locals as well.]
Enjoy your stay here in Manhattan, and have a joyous holiday season!
Sincerely,
The Office of New York Tourism Elves
Things would be so different if I ran the world. Happy Start of the Holidays!
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2 comments:
Can I reprint this without your permission and leave stacks in various hotels?
You was right.! Lord and Taylor have unveiled their holiday windows.
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